if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
smell my finger.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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