you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
