Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
