i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
