so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
