Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
