Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was confusing and full of hummus
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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