Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my vag is so smooth its legendary
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
