so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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