Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
