I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
