Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
