yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My bed smells like the plague
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
