The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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