I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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