If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
