...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
