I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
