That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
