You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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