And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize