This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
