i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize