Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
