In America we eat man semen.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
