did you get engaged???
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
