shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
