I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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