just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize