So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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