Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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