OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
is it fun? or sober?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
