"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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