Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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