you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I will be naked everywhere
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize