are you still at the devil's house?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
