I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize