she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize