The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
