You work out of a Hotel?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
