I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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