i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
