what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
