I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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