he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize