i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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