i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
