The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
