You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
