i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
