i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
