Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
