the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry about my life...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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