Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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