Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Acid is not a monday night drug
birth control should be required to get into college
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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