Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
