I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
